I know I’ve started pretty much every blog post with the statement that humans are very complicated creatures, but no better have I truly learnt this lesson, than yesterday when I had to say goodbye to my best friend. In a whirlwind of emotions, I became quickly excited at the prospect of all the grand endeavours we would undertake before her departure, just as quick was I to anger at every small ruination of our ‘perfect’ last day together, and perhaps weirdly distance at any attempt on her behalf to make me laugh or smile.
It was only in the post-examination of these acts (which I hardly seemed to notice at the time) that it became obvious to me that I was going through all the ‘motions’ of not accepting the necessity or rather the inevitability of saying goodbye. Naturally roused by the curiosity of my strange reaction (which to be completely honest with you, I have never experienced anything like this before) I resolved to research why we sometimes cry when we say goodbyes and I came across this article written by elitedaily (click here to read). It was only through reading this article that I understood precisely what I was feeling then or at least understand what I am feeling now enough to articulate it into a comprehensible fashion.
When another captures one’s feelings and sentiments as accurately as this article does, it becomes hard not to wonder whether your own experience one thought personal and individual to oneself is actually a mechanical human response- something primeval and indispensible. Goodbyes are different for different people only in so much as one is able to decide what course of action one will take after saying goodbye. True it is you’re closing a chapter of your life, which is in itself undeniably singular and unique to one’s particular situation, but there are only a finite number of reactions that we can have to goodbyes. For me I was scared to say goodbye predominately because I become easily apprehensive about change, and this is not to say that I always want to stay in a static position, never progressing, but change I think for most people is scary, because it leaves you vulnerable to the unknown- and yes this is an adventure, but it is also a gamble. More than this though, I was scared that things would change and this person would no longer be a part of my life. I know now reflecting on my moment of inane trepidation that this was an unwarranted fear to have in the first place. If people are meant to be in your life they’ll always find a way to be there. Physical presence is not necessary all the time, call me a helpless romantic, but I think love can transcend all the land mass and oceans. In some ways, physical intimacy is not pure love, because it relies greatly on the corporeal aspect of the relationship rather than the noumenal.
Goodbyes are not always forever, sometimes they are necessary in order to allow the next phase of one’s life to take place, and if it’s meant to be, that special person will also be part of this segment of your life as well.
Thank you Natasha for gifting me with an amazing year full of adventure and pure happiness, here’s to many more in the future.